My self explained

It was a close call, but I manage to make it through a boring night with the help of dorritos and House Bunny.  Any movie involving Tyson Ritter is a good movie! *giggles* He is so cute! Not to mention he is a great lyricist in my opinion! Perfect timing "Move Along" playing on my pandora station! That song completely blows my mind with how well they relate to people.


Alright enough of my obsession with Tyson....


Today's events included:
~waking up at 2:30pm
~Sweeping the steps
~heating up the rest of my totmato soup and making a grilled cheese sandwich
~making my nephew laugh
~watching superbad, disturbia, house bunny(clearly!)
~awkard facebook chatting (I tried so hard..maybe too hard?)
~pandora[ing]
~and this blog post.
~texting


hmm thinking back to the whole facebook awkward chat...why am I still struggling with socializing with people?  My friends tell my I am doing fine and yet I do not feel "fine".  I have no confidence in actually holding a stimulating conversation with anyone. Heck I feel like a brick wall would tell me to go away!  Ok so maybe I am being a tad over dramatic...Point is why is it I have such high confidence in cooking (yeah I'm that good) and yet none what so ever when it comes to simply saying "hi" to a stranger!


Well what is it that makes me feel socially awkward?
I never really thought about it?  I just assume people think I am weird and annoying like what I have been told.  I never really have anything of interest to say since I don't really do anything .  Anytime I try something new like college, a job, beauty school, something small will start to bother me about it and won't go away.  That's when  the pressure builds up and I get panic attacks. .  Actually now thinking about it..that's the same way I am with people.  I either feel I am not good enough to talk to them or they do something that bothers me and my head can keep ignoring it. 

What am I thinking! honestly! Well not much I can do but to try and work with my response so I can change my way of thinking.  Wow! I serisouly need to give myself a break!  Ha ok my friends were right I am to hard on myself.  Ya know what!?! I starting to see that half of my problem is that I need to loosen up! I mean that would make me less stressed when I'm around people!


How does one loosen up?




~Lo out