My Insightful Mark

I started reading in the book of Mark and I awkardly prayed to Jesus last night. The act of turning to Jesus honestly has NEVER been something I do.  I'm your average luke warm christian. I do go to church and I will admit I'm a christian but eh other than that Jesus has been nothing but a fad i followed in highschool.  Though I'm suddenly realizing had I started being as concerned with my spiritual life in  middle school when i started youth group, I would NOT have the anxiety and depression I have now from the crap I allowed into my life.

Well I suppose now is better than never. . .

So the book of Mark is pretty much talking about Jesus' occupation as a litteral miracle worker who spreads a message of hope and insight to the masses.  I'm still mentally stuck on chapter 4's "Parable of the Sower".  The story pretty much addresses the 3 types of people who hear the word of God.  One group is like a sower (aka farmer) who sows (aka plants) the seed on rocky soil where the information takes no root inside of the person. The second group is like the sower who sows  the seed on a field with thorns and the seed although took root, did not survive because the thorns choked the seedlings. Meaning those who actually accepted a belief in Christ, but allowed life to overwhelm them and lost sight on seeking Christ for help.  Then their is the sower who sowed his seed in good soil and the seeds grew and became successful plants. I'm pretty sure that's how christians are suppose to be...

Enoughs enough! I have to get more serious about devouting my life to Christ!  I'm tired of being alone and  begging my friends to spend time with me.  :/ I want to be able to know I'm not alone even when my friends aren't around me.  I also want to know that I'm worth something without thinking a guy will bring me worth. (although I still really really want to one day fall in love finally!)  I want to feel secure and confident in myself. I want to believe once and for all that Christ really is the Way, Truth, and Life......again I know He is real but knowing and actually believing and applying are 2 different things.

I know this is a palm to face moment but maybe Christ is my yellow brick road???? The more I follow Him the closer I am to finding happiness? 

hmm the plot thickens....


~Lo out