My roses

i freaking love [Scrubs].....ok duh...i mean the whole theme is an ode to the show. Ran strong for 9 seasons which nowadays is pretty impressive.  There are many reasons why i love the show, but of all the top 3 would be

1.im not the only attractive blonde hair/blue eyed neurotic chick
2.hilarious with a touch of realness
3. music collection used

Im currently in the process of rewatching the series...i didnt even think about askin that for christmas!

sorry thinking aloud..

so i said i would talk about what happend yesterday in more detail..

i did end up having a good day like i said.

went grocery shopping with just my mom

one of my friends came to my house to drop off a surprise gift for me as encouragement (which it still is:] ), and we ended up getting taco bell and watching the end of "little miss sunshine" with mom and "Parenthood" (best show currently airing!) 

then went to my tuesday session where i was very encouraged by how impressed my therapist was with all the progress i have made in a year. She also gave me insight on some struggles i have been having with the whole dealing with greif thing and then some other issues.

afterwards i went to the cemetary and put roses at Caroline's grave.

mom and older sis drove past it today, and were pleased.  thank goodness :)

well anyway afterwards i had a nice dinner with the family and then went to 1822 where yes it was slightly dissapointing to not have a legit lesson but a  brain-storming sesh in hopes to improve what is lacking i suppose.  then i talked to friends afterwards and headed home. talked to mom then went to bed around 12am.








today i got up at 5am to make sure i was on time to work at 6am.  Work wasnt awful but i just got this uneasy feeling like im inches from being let go.  I'm showing up and doing what im told, but maybe they feel like its not enough?  It's hard to give 110% when you have dark clouds over your head...I know i wont stay like this for long. I will eventually get my sea legs back and be 200% eager to get out there...ya knw.  I guess to put it in simpler perspective, i feel like i just started and am soooooo concerned of losing my job because im scared to say something wrong, or do something wrong by accident....Goal for next week is to get my mental focus back so i really can leave my problems at the door and be one of the best sales chick eva!...easier said....but totally do-able.  My therapist mention incorperating 20 mins of exercise, and more sleep. getting the week off will help me kick-start the routine and before christmas is here i have a good feeling ill be even better than before all the craziness appeared in my life.... :) 

Gosh trying to stay positive is exhausting!  but its important at a time like now

~Lo out