My melted face

I feel like I have been gutted out. Empty, raw, and writhing from the process.

Sure you all know that I miss Papa, but tonight I realized what all I was missing and that was that he isn't seeing the God driven woman I am becoming. When I lady wad around him, I wad nothing to be proud of. I was foolish and childish. I had taken for granted my blessings. I'm no where near satisfied in myself, but I am working on trying to stop being so insecure whenever I do anything.

I cannot believe how much I felt the Spirit's comforting presence tonight. I didn't even feel it when I was in Peru! Don't get me wrong, I felt God there too, but during my down time I dreaded the idea of going home......tonight I felt no dread of the unknown, but pain and grief for the past.

I couldn't tell you how long untill I won't be grieving, nor can anyone tell me how long I have...but during this time I have been encouraged to pray for a chance to tale what was given to me by Papa and return the live to those who need it. I still strongly thinking about missions. It's simply a matter of praying for God to tell me where to go. After watching the "invisible children" film, I knew that helping kids/teens is what I'm suppose to do....soo we shall see...

I do hope that God will continue to comfort me through thus time of sorrow, I just need to make sure I continue to seek Him in order to see it.

I'll let you know how things go with everything.

~Lo Out